6th may' 08


hubby's mum went for the operation in the morning. when she came back she was so dizzy until she walked zig-zag. scare me loh! made milo for her and she went to slp. shall not mention wat op. at night the same thing happened again. 谁能了解我现在的心情? i went to the living room wanting to bring her in to slp after i chatted with aunt on phone but i saw her in 奶奶's room. hais. don know how to say la.
upset.




7th may' 08


i have try to learn to take things easy but i just can't help feeling upset every now and then. sorry. i may sound rude. but, baby is lyk hers not mine lyk tat. she can't poo poo i also will heart pain de lor. she's my daughter. i 辛辛苦苦 carry her in my tummy for 37 weeks. i 辛辛苦苦 go through so much pains to deliver her. i also will feel upset de lor. everytime she cries veh hard i also will get upset and cry de lor. sometime she cry, pat her, hug her, carry her also no use de lor. i feel veh frustrated. lyk everything i do also no use. even hubby's little bro also say you look more lyk her mummy rather than 奶奶。after hearing i feel even more upset lor. than sometimes carry my baby into her room without telling me lyk i not her mum lyk tat. every night she slps with me than suddenly she just put her in her room to slp with her without telling me. it's lyk, really not respecting me thou she's older than me. wat am i. her mum? i don even look lyk.
now i need hubby by my side is not even around. can't even contact him. everything also cannot.
i'm not angry with hubby's mum, but i just feel upset with this little thing. is really a little thing. i'm suppose to rest and all but i just want to spend as much time as i can with my baby. i'm going to work right after confinement. i won rest for long. i need to work to earn money. otherwise how to buy her milk powders and pampers. sometimes actually only change 1 time but change already she go poo and shh shh again end up need to use another 1. she use alot ah.
why everybody agree to her taking honey water? i know my gal poo poo veh xing ku but than once she drink honey water she won drink plain water ler. she's not even a month old and she will be drinking honey water. than how? hais): any advice? is it really a better choice to give her honey water?
maybe i'm taking things to hard, but it's hard to control my feelings. i don know how to approach and speak to her. after all when i go to work, she will be the one taking care of my baby. i just wan to spend more time with my little gal. i wan to be close to her. am i taking things too hard? i just wan to be a good mummy. i wan the best for my daughter.
this isn't the life i wanted in the first place. i didn't expect things will happen lyk tat.
i'm swallowing my tears everyday. really everyday.
我很辛苦！真的很辛苦啊！
i'm falling apart.
can any 好心人 be my listening ear? )'=






anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING SHANS(:
can't celebrate but shall bu hui after my confinement.
loves.




hubby i miss you! i wan you back fast. & i really need you.
)'=






{ edited}


i tink god passed my msg to hubby. hubby called! hahas. super duper happy! (x once hubby called every unhappiness just seems to disappear! just hearing hubby's voice make me happy enough.
sometimes ppl are always not satisfied with how the boyf's and girlf's treat them and are always having high requirements. but to me, i tink i really just wanted a simple and caring hubby and tat's enough. he made the effort to call back. i guess nobody is able to call back during field camp. only him, so special!:D
he's the special guy tat stands in my heart. even thou we always quarrel, but he always never fail to make me happy after tat. although at times is my fault too, but he always apologize to me. in every quarrel, it's not just 1 party fault. is both party. it's just lyk clapping, you need both hands to clap. 1 person alone is unable to cause a quarrel. tat's wat i learned in this r/s, in this marriage.
thanks hubby for tolerating everything. last time he veh bad tempered and hot tempered, but now he change alot. i swear last time i always feel he's the worst guy with the worst attitude and temper. but now not just for me, but he also change for baby.
sometimes we can quarrel until it seems the marriage can end anytime. surprise uh? but i really treasure this marriage.
i will stop my super childish actions.
really glad to have a hubby lyk him.
i love JACKY HENG JING JIE!
we are married and it's for life(: tat's what he told me.
now i'm controlling my attitude and temper so we won quarrel!
thou we are not lyk other couples with a long r/s, but i believe we can have a blissful marriage.

Labels: I'M TOTALLY UPSET.

♥ JOLENE, going 18 on 08oct ツ
Legally JackyHengJingJie's wife:D
In ♥ with Hubby, My little gal, Family & Friends
I ♥ you & its all that matters.


♥ Heng Ke Xuan ツ
( 王珂瑄 )
my little gal
born on 21st april' 08

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